What do heroin and Theresa May have in common?

Sunday, June 30th, 2013

So the United Nations are fully behind The War On Drugs, it seems. A report released this week states, somewhat apologetically, "We have to admit that, globally, the demand for drugs has not been substantially reduced and that some challenges exist in the implementation of the drug control system". However, it continues to maintain that the War On Drugs is the only way forward as "the problem will not be resolved if drugs are legalized. Organized crime is highly adaptive. It will simply move to other businesses that are equally profitable and violent".

Anyone who watched Prohibition recently will question this premise. The documentary tracks the careers of various criminal gangs, who went from scraping a living together to living in the lap of luxury when alcohol prohibition provided them with a gaping gap in the market. As one interviewee recalled, small-time crooks who would previously have had the odd driving job suddenly had more work than they could cope with. The demand for the product elevated criminals to celebrities. Makes you wonder exactly which market the UN think could generate the turnover of the international drugs trade, to keep the drug barons in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It will come as no surprise that the report identified significant changes in drug trends. Whilst heroin and cocaine use remain stable and predictable, new psychoactive substances being manufactured in Asia are the new big thing.

You don’t say. Quite aside from my highly-informative *ahem* pieces on MCat and PMA, the search terms that lead people to my blog give us an interesting insight as to the popularity of these new substances. Of the one hundred and thirty-four search terms I am able to see (and don’t worry, there is no way of me finding out which of you searched for which..), thirty-six of those contained the words MCat, meow meow or mephedrone. So over a quarter of people coming to my blog via an internet search engines were looking for information on MCat. This in comparison to just six searches for information relating to heroin.

However, possibly more worrying is that heroin is of equal interest to a somewhat more conservative issue. One which, unlike MCat, is not spread across the front pages. Yes, that’s right – my blog keeps receiving visits from people searching for images of Theresa May’s legs. Six of the pervs have been mortally gutted when their excited searches have revealed my somewhat drab and largely unsexy blog. Still, I am proud to incite flopsie in the dirty sods – and hope that maybe they learned something about drugs policy in the meantime.

Search Views
drugsworkertowriter 6
drugsworkertowriter.com 4
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summary of drug policy as social control 3
theresa may legs 2
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neets are the future of humanity, as they hit 30 and the jobs still haven’t come back and a new block of kids are hitting the labour market in the same state governments will be forced to instate a basic wage and admit that going for full employment isn’t possible any more. 1
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is mcat one of the top ten drugs to be tested for on a urine test 1
from crack to herione 1
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mcat simular to crystal meth? 1
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does mcat make your breath smell of cats wee 1
police urine test for mcat 1
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cannabis decriminalisation 1
frank drugs slang 1
theresa mays legs 1
cannabis decriminalisation uk 1
pma death macclesfield 1
effects of mephedrone on sex in men 1
legaliser heroin 1
Unknown search terms 54

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7 comments on “What do heroin and Theresa May have in common?

  1. jamie. says:

    Interesting – has the reality that prohibition and the war on drugs has been the sole reason for the pandoras box of legal highs being truly opened must have skipped their minds – it is very much a false opposition to suggest the argument is between legal and illegal status …the question is surely how do we best manage subs use in our society, effectivley,considerately and efficiently…Never mind ms May we may need a few more years of wasting vast amounts of money on this bizarre pursuit of some ,mainly the poorest, substance users and their suppliers whilst letting organised crime flourish tax free with the benefits staying with the villans rather than being controlled by us and in turn proffiting us,and the economy -its only worth 500 billion a year at least -surley a slice of that would keep a few jobs and lessen the damaging elements of austerity

    • That’s what happens when you have facts and figures without knowledge or context. Interesting report though. And how about Theresa’s legs being as desirable as heroin?! I might write to her and tell her.

  2. Ruthie says:

    “does mcat make your breath smell of cats wee” hahahaha i admit it, that was me….

    • I should have told you that a long time ago. My personal favourite – “adhd medication take communion wine”. It conjures for me an image of a choirboy (possibly Butters from South Park), twitching and rocking slightly on his pew, from the fear of dropping dead at the altar. I probably shouldn’t find that funny..

      • Panda Bra says:

        Presumably “drugs that don’t kill human” is search by human that work computer. But “omnipotent medication” is my favourite, it sounds like a Queens of the Stone Age album.

        By the way, you may want to review your content after a hit from “unrestrictable porn sites”…

  3. John Ward says:

    You’re being crushed by the system that employs you. Go independent and offer consultancy: you’ll be better off ethically and financially.
    And no, I’m not selling anything.
    Thnx for kind comment tonight
    Slog
    jawslog@gmail.com

    • I know you’re not, John – I’ve been following you for some time! Quite star-struck by your comment, to be honest. But yes, that is the plan – I’m in the process of starting my own business to offer my writing skills and drugs knowledge in whatever combination they are required. Many thanks for your comment.

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